Scouring...

So, I have fallen off the banwagon *thud* but by golly I am getting up, dusting myself off, and giving it the good ol' heave ho again.

Credit.

Let's see....

....

To be honest, as of late, I feel like nearly everything in my life is going in reverse and I find it very difficult to find things to give myself credit about.
*scouring*
Ah well, anxiety has always been a problem for me. Being plagued by random and not so random attacks is the norm. Over many years I've learned to be able to push them aside, distract myself, or atleast be able to semi-hide them from others. Recently I let someone very dear to me bare witness to me in the throws of one. That act of vulnerabilty and trust is a huge step forward for me. (Mother may I .... yes you may :))
Anyone else out there with anxiety issues?! Raise your hand. You know who you are!
In those moments these feelings of heplessness and hopelessness flood over you and it is everything you can do to keep your head above water and NOT succumb to the waves.
For me, I wish someone could/would save me but I am too embarassed feeling stupid for what's happening to me to be able to speak up and ask for help.

Ok. Ok. That's explained enough. You get it. Anyway *pat on back* I did it. I shared that raw time with another human.
Hey! And it even drew us closer, allowing us to connect on another level!
Whoop whoop. Go me!

I am also gonna give myself credit for making strides (well it has actually turned into babysteps after a recent hand injury) to get myself more finacially stable and able to put $ back for the future.  It's happening and I am trying to not give myself too much flack about the pace.

That's what i got for now. I'll do better!
#givingmyselfcredit